(*TALK like a leprechaun*) “An epic trip to Ireland is not complete without a trip to the Guinness Storehouse (aka the brewery), am I right?!”

So, upon arrival to the land of the Green I was asked by the Customs officer ‘what have you got planned while you’re in Ireland?’ And it was actually a really good prompt not just for the Republic of Ireland to know what I was getting up to, but it was a good way for me to actually start thinking about what I should do while I was visiting (as I am a very spontaneous traveller), and giving an answer like ‘no plans as yet’ is not exactly the answer they want to hear. But I should have just told them that I was visiting Ireland to attend the Guinness Brewery — so effectively I had travelled all the way to Ireland just to visit a brewery?! Well, yes, but I did stop off in at a few other places along the way too… OK?! But the more I come to think of it, the more I actually think that this should be a stock standard question upon arrival into Ireland — ‘And on what date do you plan on visiting the Guinness Brewery?’

The Guinness Brewery (or ‘Storehouse’ — as it is known as locally — to be more precise) is a short walk away from the centre of Dublin. It’s not in Temple Bar, or any of the other trendy places, and is in very much more an industrial sort of area (funny that!) So just follow the main river and canals for a bit… and then cross the canal, and walk a little more up a few roads, and (hey, Presto!) you’ll find yourself outside of the Storehouse (N.B. I sincerely hope that you didn’t take my directions seriously? This would probably be the directions I’d give to someone on the back of a beer coaster, or something! So please… ALEASE don’t take these directions seiously. Use a map, or a navigator on your phone!).

What does the Guinness Storehouse actually look like from the outside you ask? Well, it’s a very industrial looking building from the outside (no surprises there), and it has a whole lot of Guinness branding from the outside — just think of all that kitsch merch that you’ve seen in those Irish themed pubs over the years, only on a slightly larger scale (N.B. and no… I didn’t spot any leprechauns out the front of the brewery, so good luck finding them, if you’re looking for them!) It’s interesting to note how much big brands have adopted the ‘Disneyland approach’ to marketing, and flogging their wares to the world. This is a classic case in point. It’s big, it’s bold, there’s big statements, and it’s almost as if you’re sort of entering another world… like, GuinnessWorld perhaps? (sans the leprechauns, of course!) Increasingly, brands are going down the path of providing rides, and external stimuli to get their message to the consumer. I’m sure glad I was able to experience a bit of Irish hospitality, and it’s an interesting journey to go on too (as I was about to find out!)

Enter the building via one of the many doors and you’ll come to a front desk where you can purchase tickets to enter the ‘Guinness experience’, and get a little bit more than a frothy beer at the conclusion. so, tickets in hand, and ready to find out about the manufacturing process, I then walked through to the ground floor where there is a whole lot of posters, and collateral material that’s projected onto the walls in different ways. I am in absolutely no hurry to rush this tour, and instead want to take it nice and slow so I can absorb more than just the dark aley good stuff — I want to find out about the manufacturing process, not just drink the stuff. I have a bit of sciencey mind, and a bit of an interest in anything mechanical — so I really want to find out what tools they have, what machinery they use, and moreover what the process is from when they harvest the barley, right through to the boiling of the hops, and the bottling, kegging, and canning process at the conclusion. And yes, my mind is as buzzing at the thought of a dark chocolatey frothy glass of Guinness (with a pint glass sitting and waiting on the bar countertop to be consumed — patience, Dermot, patience! — going from that lighter shade of brown, into that strong, and dark black ale colour), and I want to know what gets put in the recipe when it comes to ingredients, to give me and the other consumers such a celebrated, unique, and great beer — in a league of its own.

Walking through the main gate of the brewery I’m taking in as much as I can, and I find myself at what looks like the official starting point of the tour — where there’s a huge artistic mural on the wall that sums up the brand, the centre of a circular object wraps around the logo — is it a beer glass, or the crosshairs perhaps? I think it’s highlighting the centre of gravity — you’re at the centre of Guinness, now walk this way…

Ascend through to the first display on the tour, and it’s the most important ingredient of all… WATER! As the crisp blue waters of the Irish countryside drip, and work their way through the holding tanks, and tankers bring it to the factory, the start of the brewing process highlights the quality of the water being used, and seeks to also highlight its importance as part of the brewing process.

Walking through from the water storage tank, and into a cast iron storage tank where an interesting statistic is highlighted and written on the outside — ’30 million bubbles in every pint’, and this when its all said and done, and when the beer is fully brewed — but it’s still worthwhile highlighting this at the beginning of the brewing process.

Make your way into the next room and you’ll find the ‘roasting’ process, and you’ll find yourself virtually a roast, and a toast so that Guinness can boast the most… popular beer in Ireland (sorry about that rhyming there). The roasting of the said ingredients is an important part of the process – from the mashing of the barley, to the roasting of the barley, and the hops — which happens at approximately 232 degrees celcius! Nice and hot, and a ‘good temperature’ they say to get the distinct aroma, and flavour of a Guinness. And then comes the fermentation process (which produces the alcohol!)

After fermentation the beer is then put into barrels, and it goes through an aging process, whereby the beer is stored in oak barrels, and give it that slightly caramely, and more darker character as the barrels are burnt, and when the beer ineractsit releases that almost charcoaly, sort of dark burnt flavour as part of the beer.

These are a few of the steps to getting to what is considered ‘beer Nirvana’, or to put it into slightly more Irish parlance for you the ‘holy trinity’ of beer brewing.

But, now that the job is sort of officially done (time to clock off the shift, and clock on to the best part of the factory, or brewery tour — the official beer tasting! And it’s not just one, or two beers, it’s a couple of beers in an actual tasting room — a tasting room?! Yes, I kid you not, they have a whole room for this activity, which sort of resembles more of a university lab, than an actual brewery office. But, I think this room explains the scientific nature behind the brew. They did say that there’s a ‘Chief brewer’. and that there are laboraties to check the purity of the water, to the quality of the ingredients, and (most importantly) to check the quality of the brew, and these are people in lab coats and all too. So, there is much to be said of this beer, but the main point about it is that it’s a quality beer, and the brewing process is treated very, very seriously by all involved.

The two photos below shows the beer tasting guide running you through a tasting of the beers. Now, look to your left — can you see how the glass she’s holding is a little small? Yeah, these are literally the signature mini pint glasses that you see in all the pubs where they sell their beer. So it’s basically a minified pint glass. Now, look to your right — can you see how the tray of beers looks like a tray of standard pint sized beers? Their not actually pint, and are the minis. And here I was thinking I was going to be ‘drinking’ a full beer at the end, and before I started to get anxious, I soon realised that this was just ‘the tasting’, and not a ‘drinking’ session… and included in the ticket are two pints (upstairs in a rooftop bar setting), so I started calming down now knowing that I wasn’t being ripped off after all, and would be getting more beer at another bar, up on another level.

So, onwards, and upwards we go… (and I’m not just saying that metaphorically either), as we literally go up many flights of stairs on this tour (and there are elevators too) for what seems like an unending tower of beer, and the process of brewing it. I guess these factory tours work well given there are existing gantry levels (and the like) in those old industrial (circa 1800’s) sort of factory buildings where the levels are split up, but it appears that a few more have been added in too. All I know is that on the next level there’s a bit of a tourism memento thing going on at one of the experiences whereby you have your picture taken, and have it transferred onto a beer, a BEER?! Yes, this is not something that your Mum would necessarily like, but it’s not exactly a school photo, now is it?! And it wouldn’t pass the pub test back home for an appropriate photo to give to your mother, or your father on either of their birthdays either. But. it’s a gift you very much want to keep for yourself. And if somebody asked for an ‘appropriate’ photo to be used in ‘official marketing’ do you think that this is something you would want to readily, and happily hand over for use in the local community newsletter? Or, better yet do you think it would be an appropriate photo to be used in your organisations ‘About us’ page? I think it’s probably not a good choice, but hey, I am leaving this one here (in the photos below), and you can peruse these photos, and even see me in the ‘Guinness Mugshot’ too… and decide whether it fits into the ‘appropriate’ category for photos. I know that Mrs Brown would probably agree that you shouldn’t be using this photo for your Parrish newsletter (isn’t that right, Mrs Brown?)

Whether the below statement that ‘Guinness is good for you’ is still backed up today by the facts, who knows? But I think it might be one of those convenient little porky-pies (whoops, wrong country!) or perhaps a convenient little lepreachaun, and pot of gold moments… either way I find it comical that they don’t choose to tear down this poster, even if it is shown to be a false statement, if people are smart enough they’ll realise that this statement is not true, and is not backed up by facts, and that consuming large amounts of alcohol is likely to be detrimental to your health. However, this sort of marketing can be found in the local pubs around Dublin (close to the Storehouse), and it tells a story of a now by-gone era, where Guinness probably wasn’t good for you, but rather, was used to ‘drink away your sorrows’ — so just think the great depression, or during the wars. But this poster does look strikingly similar to a milk poster of sorts, and hasn’t gone anywhere, or been taken down (yet), so I think we can conclude that Guinness in moderation better for you than large amounts of Guinness.

So, we’re nearing the finish line now in the Dublin drunk runners club (aka the Guinness Storehouse tour), and we’ve got to get to the very final level, and it’s to be quite a fitting, and spectacular way to end a brewery tour up on the rooftop terrace, as the beers are being served up (a plenty), and with some cool Irish beats pumping, and some pretty awesome views over Dublin… this was a very cool way to end a the Guinness Storehouse tour in Dublin! I highly recommend taking a visit to this place, and checking out what is snyonmous with Ireland, and Irish culture. Drinking beer is one of their favourite pasttimes, so when I say it’s part of their culture I’m not joking. Getting to know the story behind the Guinness family brewing company was also really good, and learning about the process of brewing the beer was also hugely beneficial (being the beer writer that I am, it’s good to learn the official ways, and some of the trade secrets behind their brewing process). I would score this experience an 8 out of 10. Why? Simply because it had such great visual stimulis, and they went to great lengths in all aspects of the brewing process, and the story-telling process. A lot of effort has gone into this venture, and I sincerely hope that you’re able to make it along to this wonderful, and great experience if you’re ever passing through, or visiting Dublin at all.

Guinness Tasting Notes

Well, I’m not just ‘here to drink beer’ now am I? Or maybe I am? No, actually, I am here to do both… and so it’s only fitting that I put my professional beer tasting hat on here (like a Doctor puts on his white coat, or a tradie dons his safety helmet), and try and give you all a bit of a rundown on the ale. So, to put it into Irish parlance for you ‘tell em the tale of yer newfound Guinness ale, Jimmy!’

This beer has been an interesting one for me, having admired the largish cans for years (literrally since I was a kid, and when my Dad was feeling up for it, going and buying those extra large cans, and having them in the fridge in the back shed) — there was just something unique about their larger cans — big, and bold, and BLACK (as the night…) and from the time I turned 18 I remember tasting the beer and thinking to myself ‘gee, this something a bit different’… as at that stage I hadn’t really delved into the stout beers all that much, or come to think of it probably not event at all, because as popular as Guinness is in Ireland, it isn’t an everyday beer here in Australia, but then again nor are the stout beers anyway. As in a lot of things which are unique, and distinct to a particular culture (just think Vegemite for example)… Guinness really is in a class of it’s own when it comes to beer, and when you drink this beer it isn’t just the unique taste that you’re getting, it’s a lot more than that — it’s the silky smooth head, it’s the really dark black colour, and finally it’s the aroma that comes from it oozing things like caramel, and slight bitterness, and almost sort of like a burnt flavour (exactly spot on as this beer is roasted, and not malted, as is usually, and traditionally the case), so things other roasted things, and you’re not far off (coffee etc).

James Rowe’s Beer Tasting Notes

A pint (or yard glass) is pulled from the fridge, and with it’s distinctive ‘Guinness’ logos all over it it’s hard not to notice it as the glass is placed down on the bar counter top.

The beer is then ‘pulled’ much like every other beer, and as it’s deposited into the glass you can’t help but notice the browny sort of colour as it settles into the glass. As the beer gets halfway the glass is tilted slightly to allow more of the gases to escape the glass (and as the head of a Guinness contains nitrogen to give it that silky smooth finish — I am no scientist, but — as some of the gases are allowed to escape, it sort of reminds me of a release valve on a tank of chemicals… release the valve to allow what’s in it to escape slightly (n.b. you still need some of the gas to create that mighty fine silky smooth and dreamy head!)

If you don’t tilt the beer, then you’re going to learn the hard way (like me) of beer that’s pretty much just froth, and it’s going to be one helluva frothy beer, and not much of the liquid black stuff will be there, apart from maybe a little that’s settled in the bottom of the glass (science is so cool!), and as the beer pour gets ever-so slowly towards the end it starts to form a head (perhaps because it’s interacting with the air at the top, and creating a frothy head that is as smooth as you can imagine. Think really fine silk… and you get the idea.

Now that the beer has been poured, and is sitting in the glass, do not commit sacrilege by ‘jumping the gun’, and attempting to drink the beer prematurely. This would be what the French would describe as a ‘Tre Disaster’ moment, but… we’re not in Paris, anymore, Dorothy! Dorothy? Who’s Dorothy…? I don’t know… so, let me reiterate this — ‘Patience, Dermot, Patience!’ As the beer sits on the bar top counter, and you’re just left standing there, almost sort of being tortured (in a very contemporary way), and are left to watch your beer to ‘settle, Dermot, Settle!!!’ And you’re left wondering — ‘Who are we trying to get to settle here, is it the beer, or is it Dermot?’ It’s a bit of both you see as Mrs Brown just wants her ‘bloody beer’ already. But Dermot wants it more… so, wait for it… wait for it… (and I sincerely hope that there is no drool coming out of the corner of your mouth like an Irish setter waiting patiently for his meal!) And as the beer starts to transcend it’s browny colour into that black, really dark and stormy rich colour, you’re somewhat relieved that this modern day torture will soon be coming to an end, and you wonder to yourself — ‘is this actually worse than going to the dentist, or about on the same level?’ Probably on the same level. So, the beer is NEARLY ready, NEARLY?!? Nearly ready? Really, Dermot? Really? Oh, better wait a bit longer then… and finally as the beer finally finishes up, you’re no,,mn w left with the Irish ale stuff of champions. A pint-sized, dark and stormy black beer, with a light brown-tinged head (froth), and you can finally ‘raise your glass’ and ‘charge your glass’ and say that it was all worth the wait. But, was it worth the wait? Yes, yes it was… as you raise the glass towards your mouth you’re sort of left wondering whether this will be the ‘best Guinness of your life’ or what… and so as the glass is raised up towards your mouth you find yourself sniffing (yes, sniffing) in some incredible notes — but what sort of notes? OK, let me get into the nitty-gritty for you then — I can smell slight caramel, almost sweet toffee, a strong whiff of burnt comes to the nose (as there is coffee noticeable too). Keep sniffing, and what else stands out? Some hints of barely, although they are not as noticeable as they have been roasted, but there are hints there, and rather than being malted, because the barley has been roasted it adds to the complexion, and character, and roasted at over 200 degrees celcius will certainly give off that slight burnt smell. OK, so the penultimate question now remains — what can you now taste, as the beer glass gets ever-so slightly closer to your mouth, and then you take the first sip… and it’s instant black, and roasted flavours start to permate into your mouth, and across your tongue. Do I take a big sip? Not so much on this beer as it’s a full flavoured, and very strong beer, so I personally take smaller sips to try and savour the flavour a bit more. So, now that it’s settled across your tongue, and into your mouth, and down your throat what can you taste? A very strong flavour of stout, and burnt coffee characteristics. The barely has been ‘fired’ at over 200 degress, and it’s evident when taking the sips. The beer is what you would describe as being a somewhat ‘acquired taste’ sort of beer… so to put it into British parlance for you — ‘it’s not everybody’s cup of tea’, or to put it into Australian parlance for you — ‘It’s not everybody’s glass of beer!’ Beer is (like most drinks with a complex character profile to it) is at the best of times a bit of an acquired taste, but Guinness is much more so, as it’s quite distinct from other beers. There really isn’t any sort of beer like it (and I’m glad there’s not), and when I say ‘it’s in a class of its own’ I literally mean it, as it’s just got that little bit of uniqueness to its character. The favourite part of this beer for me is the fact that it’s got a very silky smooth head on it. I’m amazed by this rather cool thing, and I am impressed by the fact that when this beer was invented (way back in the 1800’s) that they had the foresight to include nitrogen in the head of the beer, making it smooth as silk. I find these scientific characteristics just so brilliant, and even more interesting.

Keep drinking further on down to ‘the black stuff’ and what sort of notes am I getting from this beer now? Really dark, almost coffee-like notes of roasted barley, and when I say coffee it’s not really coffee per se, but rather the tasting notes are very similar, and very close to what is considered to be ‘the black stuff’ internationally, and most bars know when you ask for that then you’re pretty much guaranteed to be served one of these beers (especially in an Irish pub).

Beer I.D.

Beer brand name: Guinness

Beer variety: Draught

Country of Origin: Ireland

Style: Irish Dry Stout

ABV: 4.2%